Evolution

I've evolved. 

I think that's what's supposed to happen by the time you hit the big 3-0: you realize you really have learned from past mistakes and experiences.

I look back on my life and can really see how young, ignorant, and inexperienced I was in my career and extracurricular activities just a few short years ago.

I couldn't admit I was on a career path I wasn't passionate about and focused too singularly on what I did in one area of my life.  I needed balance.  I didn't know that was what I needed at the time.

I was talking to a good friend on the phone this afternoon about how passionate I was about coaching wrestling back in the day.  Wrestling was my life.  There were only two seasons of the year for me: wrestling season and the off-season.  There was nothing else.  I had to be involved in it and always have my finger on the pulse of the program to which I contributed.  That is, until work and other factors phased me out of participating.

If I were to go back to it, I would want nothing more than to be a head coach of a wrestling program so that I could take my experiences and implement what I know now.  I feel I am more than qualified to run a program based on personal experience and expertise, but I think what would set me apart now from the kind of coach I was then (other than me being the head coach rather than an assistant) would be the fact that I would have in place a disciplinary action program, as well as incident reporting and investigation procedures for the coaches and the athletes I would oversee.  I think those are key elements missing from coaching programs in sports today. 

As it is, I don't have the time to give to something like that.  I prefer to continue developing the balance I've created in my life.  The funny thing is that wrestling doesn't even have a role in that balance.  It was the absence of wrestling in my life that created peace for me.

Like I said: I've evolved.